Wednesday, April 7, 2010

On Twins

Love 'em. Meant no offense to any of y'all with my previous post. Rock on with your twin-havin'/wantin' selves.

Fear 'em, though. Two things:

1. From a financial (let alone emotional) standpoint, having a baby at all right now is a pretty big leap of faith. If the universe wants to split an embyro in two and we end up with twins, that's one thing, but it seems more than a little foolhardy to try for a two-fer on purpose.

2. Sugar and I are both only children. In many ways, we like the idea of siblings, but it's foreign to us both. We may well end up wanting more than one child, and our conversations about future plans include that idea. But for right now we're thinking: one at a time.

So that's what that's all about.


  1. I certainly never thought you were anti-twin! Your fears/concerns make total sense, especially living here in NYC. I know we'd have to move if we had twins (not away from NYC, but from our apartment for sure). It's a lot to think about. I had a bunch of friends who were very clear they did NOT want twins. I told them they could just give one to me! (kidding of course...kind of)

  2. The thought of twins kind of scares me too. You aren't alone.

  3. Twins have always scared the poopy out of me, but when we were trying for #1, I felt that beggars can't be choosers- but I prefer them 1 at a time.

    Every time we trigger with two or more follicles, it is a bit scary. One of the reasons we've chosen ahead of time not to do a gonadatropin/IUI, is the risk of multiples. My fibro, plus double preeclampsia risk, makes that a dangerous thing. Never mind we couldn't afford the day care.....

  4. The idea of twins is a scary thing. The idea of being a single mama to 2 babies on one hand scares the crap out of me. i have to confess though to that small part of me that does hope for a twofer but I can also acknowledge that that part of myself is more than a bit crazy.

  5. It's totally a scary thought. We would love to have 2 kids, just not sure we want them both at the same time. LOL. However, at this point, I'll take whatever comes my way, and with IVF it's certainly a big chance.

  6. No judgment here. I wonder daily if I have the energy, let alone the money, for another one beyond the one that I have. The idea of twins, so hoped for when I was naively going through some of my treatments, now scares the fracking bajeezus out of me.

  7. Hi,

    I came across your blog recently. I'm also queer and looking at IVF in June and I really identify with a lot of what you wrote about your fears about IVF. I look forward to following your journey on here.

  8. Fear em huh? Thanks girl as I shit my pants slowly now. Kidding. It is scary though both my husband and I are thrilled and know it will be a challenge in many ways but we are mannin' up and ready for the challenge. I hope you guys get your one soon girl. xoxo

  9. heh, whatever, wishing. i do not believe you're really scared, not for a minute. nor that you'll be anything less than superb with 'em. i foresee lots of cat-based games and pyramid-climbing races.

    ocean, welcome! nice to have a prospective cycle buddy around, especially one in the Family. let's hope we're both knocked up good and quick.

    nicole, i'm hoping this all quickly becomes a nice story we'll tell our respective wee ones when we meet for ice cream at the bottom of the brooklyn bridge.