Saturday, October 17, 2009


Lucky I left one in that post the other day -- you'll note I said I'd post something "for every day" not "on every day." Probably I should have been a lawyer.

So now I owe you three four things.

Here's one thing you missed (unless you heard me kvetch about it on the IVP): I am having the World's Longest Cycle. Or at least, it wins in the local competition that is my little charting notebook. When I started keeping track last spring*, it came as a shock to me that my cycles weren't 28 days -- I mean, that's "normal," right? I'm normal (hindsight sez: haaaaaaaaaaaaa!), ergo my cycle = 28 days.

*Note to my lovely man-borking lady readers: one of the (many, many!) perks of lesbianism is that, until now, I have never once bothered paying attention to when my period is due. Hell, it's not like I could have been pregnant. When I noticed myself crying at pet food commercials and comparing my physique unfavorably to that of a manatee, I figured it was time to hit up the ladies-only aisle at the drug store.

Does this dugong make my arms look fat?

Turns out my cycles are more like 34 days. Except when they're 30 or 37. Still, it's all regular enough, and I suppose I haven't been complaining about getting 2.5 fewer sets of cramps per calendar year all this time, now have I?

My shortest cycle since I've been keeping track has been 30 days, so I started peeing on OPKs at day 13 (shortest cycle minus 16 except I forgot on day 12). You know how I love all that leg-crossing, so I'm sure you can imagine how thrilled I was to keep that up for TWENTY DAYS.

I am now officially a believer in that whole "stress can delay ovulation" business, which had previously seemed right on the edge of hippie-dippy. I spent the middle of the month VERY stressed about a number of things (certainly including "when the hey-diddle-diddle am I going to freakin' ovulate?"); the worst of it was right about the time I should have ovulated in a typical cycle. Things started to line up -- OPKs got a shade darker, ovary started to twinge -- and then NOTHING. All systems powered down, except whatever system is in charge of my pulling my hair out.

Convinced this cycle was a bust, we packed up and headed to the beach for a weekend of friends and serious eating. Couple of days of relaxing, and BAM. Positive OPK on CD 32.

1 comment:

  1. As usual, this is hysterical. Given the fact that I have PCOS, I am usually completely anovulatory (hence why I never got pregnant naturally in my 2.5 years of trying without help). I had to kick my ovaries into gear with Clomid, and even then, I didn't detect ovulation until cd 32. Perfect 28 day cycles NEVER happen/ed with me. Except when I'm on BCPs...and umm...what good would THAT do when TTC?