Not much to report around here except for the IF equivalent of first-world problems: feeling blue about feeling fat; feeling terrified at the prospect of an actual baby in our actual apartment; feeling like stabbing someone in Old Navy while attempting to buy maternity clothes and settling for having a melt-down in H&M instead. Fascinating stuff.
I have an OB appointment tomorrow, so perhaps there will be more to report then. I'm hoping it will at least help with the fat-freakout -- I know it's moronic, and it isn't as if I was skinny before this, but it turns out I'm having a bit of trouble ignoring the past 30 years of societal conditioning on the subject. With luck, said OB (The Russian, OB 3 of 4. Haven't met her yet.) will not tell me I am gaining too fast, eating too much, etc. With further luck, that will help my brain get off this hamster wheel. If she *does* say I'm gaining too fast, batten down the hatches, 'cause we'll all be in for a stormy ride. (In point of fact, I *am* eating more than "they" say to, because I'm freakin' HUNGRY. There is no reasoning a stomach into peacefulness at 4 in the morning, and there is no going back to sleep for me while said stomach is restless.)
Enough ado! Here is your photographic evidence of my state at 14w6d (their count) or 15w1d (mine), in an Old Navy tank top wrested from roiling Herald Square this weekend and a very stretchy skirt of Sugar's (double-wardrobe is one of the great benefits of the Homosexual Agenda):
ETA: Oh, gawd. I just realized that this turned into one of those "I'm so fat (now tell me I'm skinny)" posts. Yuck. Not the (conscious) intent, really. Please just take it as evidence of the crazy I referred to above -- I swear I have regressed to my 15 year-old self vis-a-vis body image, and frankly, that was not the best or most interesting aspect of her personality.
I get it...having a very difficult time feeling sexy, quite honestly. But you do look beautiful :) I can't wait to look preggo instead of pudgy. LOL. Hope the OB goes well!!!
ReplyDeleteYou look beautiful & pregnant. Hope you have agreat OB appointment.
ReplyDeleteI think you look great, too! And eat as much as you like--the kid is telling you it wants food, so eat! I hope you like your new OB, and commend you for not going off in the middle of shopping hell. Sometimes I struggle with that myself.
ReplyDeleteI love the belly shot! (Sometimes my posts come out sounding differently then I plan too - just the facts of bloggy life.)
ReplyDeleteI think you look fab. Although I totally get your "I feel fat waaah" feeling: at 16+ weeks I just feel like a cow. I don't look unambigously pregnant, but just enormous. I just wear really tight tops to show off the belly and hope that people get it.
ReplyDeleteYarggg! This is such an awkward time, when people who know you are totally seeing you as pg, but strangers on the subway seem to be happy in the comfortable assurance that you are just one of the many more-or-less curvaceous New Yorkers without any regard to your gestational status... but rest assured that within a few weeks you will be undeniably gravid...but don't expect to be given a subway seat ;-)
ReplyDeleteYoulook fabuolous and you are a braver woman than I to risk life & limb in Herald Square on a weekend. It paid off!
Awww your little baby bump looks adorable! Ahaha I feel like a cow normally!! Yay for some new clothes as well. Congrats of 15 weeks.
ReplyDeleteI totally hear you! Im almost 21 weeks and still think "when people see me, do they say preggo or just chubbo..." -- Im not someone who has EVER spent much time thinking about my weight but now that im less active (and more couch-potato-y) its hard not notice your growing body..I think EVERYONE does-- but you look great!
ReplyDeleteGreat belly pic!!!!! I think its very cute.
ReplyDeleteYou look very lush and gravid, lady, and don't forget that pregnancy makes you bloaty all over. Just do your best to Let It Go re: the weight issue and if you can manage to do that I promise you'll be happier. I've done pregnancy and sweated it, and done pregnancy and not sweated it, and gained the same amount because that's just what my body does, but I was happiest the last time, when I stepped on the scale backward every time and trusted my OB to tell me if there was a problem of any kind related to my weight. Truth!
ReplyDeleteYou look amazing!
ReplyDeleteAmazing pic, you look pregnant girl not fat. I was completely the opposite when I was 15 weeks, I couldn't get fat enough LOL. I wanted to get fat but never did... well now at 34w3d mission accomplished man for real, popped like I dont know what and i LOVE it! Enjoy your belly and know that it continue to grow , eat what you want until the doctors threaten you. xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteNow I feel awkward about telling you that you look lovely, but you do. I like "lush and gravid". And hey, even if you have to be a massive whale for nine months, so be it. You can get trim again in between feedings and naps.
ReplyDeleteAre you still there? How's it going? The Internet is Fretting.
ReplyDelete